Saturday, August 8, 2009

Michigan Football Forecast 2009: Mostly Cloudy With a Chance of Failure

by HD Handshoe

Following what was essentially the worst season ever for Michigan football, the 2009 outlook isn't much better for Rich Rodriguez and his Wolverines in year two of his reign.

Overall, it's been stormy in Ann Arbor for the better part of the last two seasons.

With several embarrassing and/or lop-sided losses—especially those home losses to Appalachian State and Toledo—things have to get better, and soon, right?

Oh, and then there's that little matter of the Buckeyes having won five straight and seven of eight under Jim Tressel.

With the arrival of new quarterback and UM savior Tate Forcier (I am a Buckeye fan so please detect the sarcasm), maybe 2009 will get a little bit better.

But then, it really can't get much worse after a 3-9 season, can it?

2009 UM Schedule and Game Breakdown

Week One

Michigan vs. Western Michigan

Prediction: Michigan had never lost to a MAC team before losing to Toledo in 2008. Michigan will wish they had WMU QB Tim Hiller when lightning strikes twice in consecutive seasons and the Broncos pull off the very mild upset, and I do mean mild.

Week Two

Michigan vs. Notre Dame

Prediction: Michigan barely showed up for the game in South Bend last year, losing by three scores. It could be closer this year since the game is in Ann Arbor, but Notre Dame will be more improved this year than Michigan and should send the Wolverines to an 0-2 start.

Week Three

Michigan vs. Eastern Michigan

Prediction: Michigan makes it rounds across the state for yet another directional school from TSUN (that state up North). This time, they finally found one more pathetic than themselves to play and will get their first win of the season, bringing their record up to 1-2. I'm so confident this is a lock for UM that I'd bet on it, (as long as no money was on the line).

Week Four

Michigan vs. Indiana

Prediction: As bad as Michigan has been recently, there is no weaker BCS program in the Big Ten and quite possibly the nation than Indiana. Back to back cupcakes on the schedule should translate into back to back wins for UM and a 2-2 record.

Week Five

Michigan @ Michigan State

Prediction: The Spartans spanked Michigan 35-21 in the Big House a year ago. Even with the departure of Javon Ringer and Brian Hoyer, I believe the Spartans will win nine games again in 2009. This years game is in East Lansing and I just don't think Michigan will be improved enough to beat MSU on the road, dropping them to 2-3.

Week Six

Michigan @ Iowa

Prediction: The Wolverines didn't face Shonn Greene and Iowa in 2008 but will travel to Iowa City this season. Greene is gone but running back Jewel Hampton and quarterback Ricki Stanzi, along with a crazy-loud crowd in Kinnick Stadium, will prevail. Iowa could actually challenge for the Big Ten title this year. Michigan, not so much. The Hawkeyes victory will drop the Wolverines to 2-4.

Week Seven

Michigan vs. Delaware State

Prediction: Michigan looks to avoid another loss to an FCS opponent as Delaware State comes to town. I don't know much about the 2009 Delaware State Hornets other than they went 5-6 in 2008. Another cupcake should equal another win, bringing Michigan's record to 3-4.

Week Eight

Michigan vs. Penn State

Prediction: Michigan actually kept it close for a little bit vs. PSU in 2008 but in the end, Clark and Royster were too much and the Wolverines folded like lawn chairs, 46-17. It will be more of the same in 2009 and UM will drop to 3-5.

Week Nine

Michigan @ Illinois

Prediction: Quarterback Juice Williams had one of his biggest games of the year in Michigan Stadium as the Illini thumped the Wolverines 45-20 last season. Williams returns along with star wide-out Arrelious Benn and running backs Daniel Dufrene and Jason Ford. The game is in Champaign and UM dropping to 3-6 is all but an absolute certainty.

Week 10

Michigan vs. Purdue

Prediction: In the 2008 Big Ten "No-defense Bowl", Purdue out slugged Michigan 48-42 in West Lafayette in Joe Tiller's final season. I'm not sure Purdue has much "Hope" to win four games this season. Even If they do, this won't be one of them and Michigan will improve to 4-6.

Week 11

Michigan @ Wisconsin

Prediction: Michigan beat Wisconsin, 27-25 in 2008 but this year, they play in Madison. Camp Randall is one of the toughest stadiums to play in as the visiting team. Ohio State eked out a win over an average Badgers team last season. Wisconsin was the better team, but choked a year ago. They will be better in 2009, while Michigan will be about the same. That fact, and the crowd will be the difference as Michigan will drop to 4-7.

Week 12

Michigan vs. Ohio State

Prediction: As noted above, Ohio State has won five in a row over Michigan and Coach Jim Tressel boasts a 7-1 record over the most hated team North of Ohio. This all comes down to Terrelle Pryor. Ohio State won the recruiting battle for him last year and as long as he is running the show Columbus, it's extremely unlikely that UM wins again in this series. If the world truly ends in 2012, Wolverine fans will never see their team beat the Buckeyes again. I was right though: 4-8 is a little better than 3-9.

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  1. This story is hilarious and not far from the truth either. Poor michigan fans, actually thinking they're going to win 8 or 9 games. They thought the same thing last year too. I noticed one of them actually voted 13 win and BCS champs for 2009. That's totally priceless. UM, where the M stands for MORONS

  2. Oh look....a homer article by a die hard buckeye. I knew better than to expect something realistic... See you on the boards Sept 6th! I say you will be saying...."OOPS!" ~tabs

  3. LOL, you know I'm right Tabs!

    7 wins MAX...& that's with a lot of luck!

    Thanks again Tabby!

    Your favorite Buckeye buddy,

  4. Fuck ohio state

  5. UM fans sure are short-fused!

    Way to stay classy, and of course you post it anonymously...

  6. Who ever said that I was a UM fan.......way to assume there!

  7. Well, whomever you are, you're a classless d-bag!

    Klink, is that you?


  8. Did your mom have any kids who lived, you stupid fuck?

  9. That has to be one of the most uneducated blogs i have ever seen. There is not one ounce of credibility to these "predictions" The difference between seasons can be a world of difference for ANY team! It probably wouldve been a better blog if it wasnt filled with biasness and was more educated.

  10. Why are you UM fans so vulgar and angry over this? Get a life losers. Michigan sucks...get over it.


  11. Wow, did you think that up all by yourself!

  12. It's ironic that Buckeyes call us the arrogant ones. Pot to the Kettle.

  13. Wow, those are some wild predictions. I wouldn't be suprised if you said UM would go 0-12. Great job being a homer.

    Wisconsin - Win, "the crowd could be a difference" yeah and so could the play by each team. Wisconsin is not improving, I have no idea where you got that from. On the other hand Michigan is... You seem confused...

    Michigan State - Win, I love this "Even with the loss of Javon Ringer". After that, there isn't much more to say... I guarantee you MSU will not win 9 games next season, nor will the beat Michigan. You really believe after losing their main source of offense in Ringer and an average QB... that they can win 9 games... please.

    Notre Dame - Win, seriously, ND does not belong in the top 25. Honestly, if people believe that ND is BCS Bowl bound after 3-9, 7-6 seasons, then they should have no problem with an 8 win season for UM. Expect Clausen to continue to make mistakes.

    Buckeye fans seriously need to quit dreaming. If you think Michigan isn't going to improve this season then you're definately delusional. (4-8? Please... get real, that's like me saying the Buckeyes will go 6-6) Don't go trolling and expect UM fans not to talk back.

  14. who is notre dame? I thought they were a crew team

  15. It's a lot easier falling off the mountain than climbing back to the top. I agree with HD. 4, 5, or 6 wins for TSUN is my guess. TSUN desperly needs to go to a bowl this year (6 wins). They need the extra practices or they will fall further behind the bowl going football world. It may be MSU's time to shine.

  16. "F" meatchicken!

  17. This is an incredibly stupid and boring blog. But boring and stupid perfectly describes Buckeye fans, so I guess it fits.

  18. haha well what's funny to me, you stupid fuck, is that 2 of your 4 predictions are already wrong. Michigan state? come on, without ringer, they're garbage. Indiana? umm, they were 3-0 going into the michigan game, granted michigan barely won, but a w is a w. Wisconsin? okay first off, i don't give a fuck where you play, they LOST last year. Michigan sucked ass last year, and still beat big bad wisconsin, wisconsin hasn't gotten any better either. Illinois? did you see the terrible preformance they put up against ohio state this weekend?... they played about as good as toledo, then again your guys' offense played like shit too. And ohio state, okay, im gonna be 100% honest here. Michigan is gonna win, Rich Rodriguez has something to prove in beating OSU this year, because they haven't won in what 6 years?... he's gonna pull out all the stops, every trick play, and every perfect play he can. ANYTHING ohio state can do, and anything ohio state has, so does michigan. I think it will be a good game, but michigan will win. you guys have a shit running back (by the way, i don't know if you've checked out UM's running back, carlos brown or not, he's ridiculous), and all of your recievers are garbage. Your qb isn't an all star either. you guys had a lot of good recruiting over the years, and now you're fucked... lemme know what it feels like to get beat by a freshman qb... bitch

  19. So here we are 9 games down and scUm is 5-4 with games vs. Purdue, Wisconsin, and Ohio State left...

    Purdue is the only game of the 3 scUm might win so 6-6 is the best record scUm can get...

    Now what BITCHES?

  20. Good season scUM fucks

    5-7 LMFAO

  21. i think we may have hurt the michigan fans fealings. maybe we should be nicer and not competely sodomize every year
    -- Chase


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